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From Dr. Failure, 2 Years ago, written in Plain Text.
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  1. Entry: March 23, 2020
  2.  
  3. ------------------
  4.  
  5. I am a senior Chinese military intelligence officer
  6. and I know the truth about the coronavirus outbreak.
  7. It is far worse than the media are telling you.
  8. I am a Chinese citizen in Wuhan who occupies
  9. — or perhaps occupied — a high-ranking position
  10. in military intelligence.
  11. I am also a member of the Chinese Communist Party.
  12. As a senior official near the top of the Party,
  13. I have access to a great deal of classified
  14. information and I have been involved in many
  15. top-secret government projects.
  16. I have a doctorate from a leading university in a
  17. western country, which is why I am able to write my
  18. account in English.
  19.  
  20. I have information that I believe could lead to the
  21. overthrow of my government.
  22. It is also relevant to billions of people outside of
  23. China, all of whom are now in existential peril.
  24.  
  25. It will not surprise you to hear that if my identity
  26. were to be revealed, my life would be in grave danger,
  27. as would those of my wife and son.
  28. I ask you to respect the fact that I have stripped out
  29. of this account all facts that would make it easy to
  30. identify me.
  31.  
  32. By now you will be familiar with the recent outbreak
  33. of 2019-nCoV, also known as NCP, or simply "coronavirus".
  34. You will have heard that it originated in Wuhan, an
  35. industrial city in China, and that it came from an animal
  36. — most likely a bat or a pangolin — that was sold in a
  37. wild animal market.
  38. You will have been told that it is an influenza-like
  39. illness that can in severe cases cause pneumonia,
  40. respiratory failure and death.
  41. Finally, you may have heard that although the disease
  42. is highly infectious, it is dangerous only to the elderly
  43. or to those who have a compromised immune system.
  44. The official lethality rate is approximately 2% or so.
  45.  
  46. All of that is a bunch of lies concocted by the Chinese
  47. state with the tacit support of the U.S. deep state and
  48. its friends in the European Union, Russia and Australia,
  49. and spread by the docile media in all of those countries.
  50.  
  51. Let me start by telling you that the world does not
  52. operate the way you think it does.
  53. Although countries like the US and China vie for global
  54. dominance, that competition is restricted to certain
  55. limited areas.
  56. In most ways, the two countries are more interested in
  57. cooperation so that they can stop other competing countries
  58. from gaining more power.
  59. They also have a shared interest in keeping real power out
  60. of the hands of their "ordinary" citizens.
  61. To this end, they have many different mechanisms by which
  62. they control the overwhelming majority of their media outlets.
  63. The Americans in particular have perfected the art of creating
  64. made-up "divisions" between their two main parties which are
  65. designed to hide the fact that both serve the same masters.
  66.  
  67. These same nations also posses technology that is far more
  68. advanced than you can imagine and which is kept carefully
  69. hidden from public view.
  70. This includes advanced artificial intelligence capable of
  71. undermining and deciding any election in the world; biological
  72. and chemical agents that can manipulate and control the
  73. thinking patterns and behaviours of citizens to terrifying
  74. degrees; highly sophisticated manipulation techniques using
  75. hypnotic practices entirely unknown to the public; and other
  76. things that I will not go into now.
  77. My point is that the great nations do not compete so much as
  78. work together.
  79. Their principal goal is to shield the true workings of the
  80. world from the "uninitiated" public.
  81.  
  82. Just to give you one example, there aren’t actually any nuclear
  83. weapons anywhere in the world.
  84. The U.S. and the Soviet Union scrapped them all in the 1970s,
  85. as did their client states.
  86. Everyone realised that those weapons could not be used without
  87. destroying the whole world, so there was no need for them; but
  88. by pretending that they still had them, the big players were
  89. able to keep the non-nuclear powers in line.
  90.  
  91. Let me return to the virus.
  92.  
  93. Last year, large-scale anti-government protests erupted in Hong Kong.
  94. The Standing Committee of the Chinese Communist Party considered these
  95. to be a grave threat to the integrity and stability of the motherland.
  96. The U.S. government and the EU both knew that the Chinese were secretly
  97. working on a biological agent that was supposed to make the protesters
  98. docile and obedient.
  99. Without going into detail, I worked on that project.
  100. We tried to develop a sort of spray that could be dispersed from
  101. helicopters or drones and that would lead to mental retardation
  102. and behavioural change.
  103.  
  104. Naturally, as Hong Kong is one of the most open and international
  105. cities in the world, the Party decided that it was too risky to
  106. release the agent in Hong Kong without first testing it.
  107. For this, it needed a great number of human guinea pigs.
  108. Two groups were identified for this.
  109.  
  110. First, we rounded up a large number of so-called "islamic radicals"
  111. in Xinjiang Province and took them to what we called "training camps".
  112. We had already been using these camps for human experimentation for
  113. several years, but the Hong Kong protests meant that we redoubled
  114. our efforts.
  115. We exposed the inmates to various "alpha" experimental agents.
  116. As these were odourless and invisible, the subjects were not
  117. aware that they were taking part in medical trials.
  118. The resulting high rates of cancer, premature dementia,
  119. suicidal depression and death by organ failure could easily be
  120. suppressed, as the camps are located in very remote parts of our
  121. motherland.
  122.  
  123. Once the initial experiments had yielded a "beta" agent, it was
  124. transported to Hubei Province, where it was deployed in a special
  125. military testing facility outside the city of Wuhan.
  126. This was not even a particularly well-kept secret: the existence
  127. of this facility has been reported in international news.
  128. Even the fact that it is located close to the wild animal market
  129. is a known fact.
  130.  
  131. By then our President had already introduced a "social credit"
  132. system that allowed us to identify disloyal,
  133. counter-revolutionary and bourgeois elements in our society.
  134. Using the social credit scores — which are taken from online
  135. activity, electronic shopping behaviour and reports from
  136. informers in civil society — we selected some of the worst
  137. offenders.
  138. These included human rights lawyers and activists, Christians,
  139. homosexuals, artists, intellectuals, people who speak foreign
  140. languages, and other undesirables.
  141.  
  142. Once these troublemakers had been collected and placed in the
  143. testing facility, we exposed them to the Agent, which is
  144. biochemical in nature and spread in an invisible aerosol,
  145. akin to certain viruses.
  146. Initial results were encouraging, as we saw significant
  147. cognitive decline and reduction in higher mental processing facilities.
  148. Essentially, our undesirables were becoming mildly mentally
  149. disabled, which is precisely the effect we wanted to produce
  150. in order to pacify the restive population of Hong Kong.
  151.  
  152. Unfortunately, it quickly became apparent that the Agent
  153. also had other effects.
  154. About one week after the retardation set in, our subjects
  155. developed major anxiety and panic attacks.
  156. Eventually they developed symptoms akin to those of
  157. paranoid schizophrenics.
  158. At that point, their bodies rapidly deteriorated.
  159. They developed massive internal bleeding; the walls of
  160. their arteries dissolved; they bled out of their eyes
  161. and orifices, and their tissue disintegrated.
  162.  
  163. To put it in a more direct Western manner,
  164. they started to melt.
  165.  
  166. Death usually occurred through multiple organ failure.
  167. This was preceded by at least five days of severe agony
  168. which could not be alleviated by painkillers.
  169. It was at this time that I first violated our protocol:
  170. one subject, an elderly lady who had published defamatory
  171. cartoons of our President, begged me for death with such
  172. insistence that I took pity and shot her.
  173. I was reprimanded, but fortunately the complaint was dropped
  174. when I agreed to reimburse the cost of the bullet.
  175. I swore to myself never again to show such unnecessary emotion.
  176.  
  177. We decided that our Agent was unusable.
  178. It was far too destructive for our purposes.
  179. We wanted the population of Hong Kong to submit to us;
  180. we did not want to exterminate it.
  181.  
  182. Naturally, our American friends had by then taken an
  183. interest in our work and asked us for a sample for their
  184. own research and testing purposes.
  185. They hinted that they wished to use it to resolve certain
  186. difficulties in Venezuela.
  187. Normally we would have agreed, as we maintain friendly
  188. relations with the CIA, but given the extremely toxic
  189. nature of the Agent, we declined.
  190.  
  191. This, as it turned out, was a grave mistake.
  192. The CIA was convinced that we had developed
  193. something very powerful and wanted to keep
  194. it to ourselves.
  195. They offered a great deal of money to one
  196. of our researchers.
  197. Foolishly, he agreed to sell them a specimen.
  198. We found out just in time for the handover
  199. and tried to stop it from happening.
  200. In the ensuing shoot-out — don’t bother to
  201. look for it in the news,
  202. it was never reported anywhere —
  203. several dozen people were killed.
  204.  
  205. More importantly, however, the Agent escaped.
  206.  
  207. The shoot-out took place at the wild animal market
  208. which has been reported as the location of the
  209. "animal to human" transmission that started the outbreak.
  210. But of course there was no such transmission; it was just
  211. the location where the CIA was supposed to receive the
  212. sealed vial containing the Agent.
  213. The vial shattered when it was dropped by the traitor
  214. who had agreed to sell it to the Americans.
  215.  
  216. By now I understand you will be sceptical.
  217. If I really am who I say I am, why would
  218. I be sharing this information on the internet?
  219. Let me assure you that I am no friend of the
  220. Western system of governance.
  221. I love my motherland and I am loyal to the
  222. Communist Party.
  223. It has lifted hundreds of millions of my
  224. compatriots out of squalor and poverty.
  225. However, I am also a human being
  226. and I have a conscience.
  227.  
  228. Most importantly, I have a wife and a son.
  229.  
  230. Once we realised that the Agent had escaped and
  231. would start to spread, we swiftly put all of
  232. Wuhan into lockdown.
  233. I was one of those tasked to manage the
  234. fallout of the contamination.
  235. Of course we could not keep such a huge undertaking
  236. secret, so we decided to order our state media to
  237. report that a "coronavirus" had broken out in Wuhan.
  238.  
  239. In reality, of course, there is no "coronavirus".
  240. It was all made up.
  241.  
  242. It was one of my colleagues who came up with the genius
  243. idea of pretending that people with the common flu
  244. suffered from the coronavirus.
  245. This allowed us to hide the true nature of the disease.
  246. Let me explain.
  247.  
  248. It is currently flu season in China.
  249. When we realised that we could no longer control the
  250. spread of the Agent, we sent our men to all the hospitals
  251. and instructed all doctors to diagnose every case of the
  252. common flu as "coronavirus".
  253. We came up with a new name — 2019-nCoV — and handed out
  254. "factsheets" that described a made-up illness.
  255.  
  256. The result of this decision was that tens of thousands
  257. of individuals who were simply suffering from a cold
  258. or flu were now diagnosed as having a mysterious
  259. coronavirus that, although infectious, was not often lethal.
  260. While this frightened the public, it allowed us to push
  261. the narrative that the disease was not that deadly;
  262. it also gave us time to prepare for the catastrophe
  263. that was sure to come by imposing a lockdown on Wuhan
  264. and other cities in Hubei Province.
  265.  
  266. You have not heard this in the news
  267. — and given the size of Wuhan, with its population
  268. of 11 million, it is not known even to many of the residents —
  269. but within days thousands upon thousands were infected
  270. and before long they suffered the agonising deaths that
  271. I have already described.
  272. Within a week, there were so many corpses that we did not
  273. know what to do with them, so we ordered the surviving
  274. social credit prisoners to drive the bodies into the
  275. countryside and bury them in mass graves.
  276. But it was very difficult to keep this activity secret,
  277. and we could not even keep up as there were so many corpses.
  278. We planted a story that five million residents had "fled" Wuhan.
  279. In reality, of course, many of those people had died from the Agent.
  280.  
  281. I was working around the clock helping to orchestrate this cover-up.
  282. When I think back to my actions now, I feel great shame.
  283. At the time I still believed that I was fighting for my
  284. motherland and that the rule of the Party was right and just.
  285. But deep down, I had already begun to have doubts.
  286.  
  287. My faith in the Party was shaken even more deeply when
  288. I learnt what had happened to Dr Li Wenliang.
  289. He was one of the few doctors who refused falsely to
  290. diagnose flu patients with the "coronavirus".
  291. As a punishment, he was sent to help transport dead
  292. bodies to mass graves.
  293. The expectation was that he would be infected with
  294. the Agent and die an agonising death, but to our great
  295. surprise, he did not contract the illness.
  296.  
  297. You have of course read that he died of "coronavirus".
  298. You have been misinformed.
  299. A sergeant of the People’s Armed Police injected him
  300. with a mixture of heroin and mercury that caused his
  301. lungs to deflate.
  302.  
  303. When I found out about this I became unsure whether or not
  304. I was doing the right thing.
  305. While I believe that it is appropriate for a government to
  306. rule with a severe hand, I do not think that it was right to kill Dr Li.
  307. He was a compassionate and kind man and he cared about
  308. his patients; how can our motherland not benefit from having such a doctor?
  309.  
  310. I shared my concerns with my wife,
  311. but she convinced me that I should not say anything to my superiors.
  312. She said that it was too dangerous;
  313. that they valued loyalty above everything else;
  314. and that I would only find trouble if I admitted to my doubts about their practices.
  315. She also pointed out that we benefited from priority medical treatment.
  316. As senior officials, we received regular supplies of the
  317. highly-sophisticated hazmat masks that are the only known
  318. technology that can prevent infection.
  319. She implored me to think of our son, who is still small.
  320. If I spoke out and were caught, our lives would be at risk.
  321.  
  322. Around the same time, it became clear that the Agent was
  323. entirely beyond our control.
  324. It was spreading like wildfire throughout Hubei Province
  325. and beyond, infecting tens of millions and causing them
  326. all to die.
  327.  
  328. I understand that what I just said is difficult to believe,
  329. because you have been told that there have been only about
  330. 50,000 infections, and far fewer deaths.
  331. But these are the influenza infections that have been falsely
  332. passed off as the non-existent "coronavirus".
  333. The Agent is far, far more contagious than that, and its
  334. fatality rate, unlike the "coronavirus", is not 2%.
  335.  
  336. No, its fatality rate is 100%.
  337. Nobody recovers from it.
  338. Everybody who contracts it dies.
  339.  
  340. And a lot of people are contracting it.
  341.  
  342. Hubei Province lies in ruins.
  343. The various travel restrictions and lockdowns that have
  344. been imposed were not created to stop the spread of the
  345. Agent — none of them can stop it, not embargoes, not face
  346. masks or hand sanitiser — but to stop the survivors from
  347. seeing the catastrophe with their own eyes.
  348.  
  349. I am part of the greatest cover-up in human history:
  350. the hiding of the deaths of tens of millions.
  351. Very soon, Hubei Province will be no more than a giant
  352. mortuary, and the truth will come out.
  353.  
  354. For me, the turning point came when the Party told yet
  355. another lie, and that lie was too dreadful even for me to accept.
  356. You may have heard that China built a new hospital,
  357. called Huoshenshan Hospital, in Wuhan, in order to provide
  358. additional quarantine and isolation facilities for infected patients.
  359. You may have heard that they built it in only ten days.
  360.  
  361. That too is a lie.
  362.  
  363. Sure, they did build something in six days.
  364. But it was not a hospital.
  365. The true nature of the building was top secret.
  366. Initially, I was naive enough to believe that the Party
  367. was demonstrating its compassion and care for the people.
  368. But then my superiors sent me to Huoshenshan.
  369. I was shown around the installation by a military
  370. police officer called Corporal Meng (this is not his real name).
  371. It was there that I saw the truth.
  372.  
  373. As I have mentioned, the only way to protect oneself
  374. from the Agent is by wearing a special protective mask
  375. that is entirely unlike those available commercially.
  376. Even medical professionals do not have access to it.
  377. It is available only to biomedical warfare researchers
  378. and it contains extremely advanced technology.
  379.  
  380. These masks need to be kept at a particular temperature
  381. to offer full protection, and lose their effectiveness very quickly.
  382. As I have also already said, one of the benefits of my
  383. position was that both my family and I had access to regular
  384. supplies, which is why were safe when compared to civilians,
  385. doctors and even lower-level government officials,
  386. all of whom wore utterly ineffective surgical masks in the
  387. misguided belief that they would protect them.
  388.  
  389. And so, wearing this special equipment,
  390. I went to Huoshenshan with Corporal Meng.
  391.  
  392. Whatever you want to call that place, it is not a hospital.
  393. Sure, the entrance looks like a hospital and in the ward
  394. at the front of the complex, there are what appear to be normal medical beds.
  395. There, thousands of infected patients lie, all of them in the
  396. early stages of the disease.
  397. I walked along those long, white corridors next to Corporal Meng,
  398. his angular face dispassionate in his military fatigues,
  399. and saw hundreds upon hundreds of identical hospital beds on which
  400. squirmed the terrified and diseased inhabitants of Wuhan.
  401. Their cries and pleas haunt me in the long nights in which I now am unable to sleep.
  402.  
  403. But this was merely the beginning.
  404. Eventually the Corporal took me to the rear of this front section.
  405. There, locked metal gates led to what he called the "middle section".
  406. The patients in the front are unaware of its existence.
  407. It is there that the more advanced cases are kept,
  408. in what most closely resembles a mental asylum.
  409.  
  410. Immediately upon entering this part of Huoshenshan
  411. I was struck by the dim lighting and stench of vomit and human waste.
  412. Here the unfortunates roamed freely,
  413. their minds gradually disintegrating in endless panic attacks
  414. and psychotic episodes.
  415. Here too there were no more doctors,
  416. merely gorilla-faced men in black uniforms who belonged to some
  417. secret branch of the military police I had never heard of.
  418.  
  419. They appeared to have been selected for their cruelty,
  420. for they beat and degraded the patients in the most sadistic manner.
  421. Many of the inmates had regressed to childlike
  422. states and lay on the floor weeping like infants
  423. and begging for compassion that they did not receive.
  424. There was cruel pleasure in the eyes of these thugs
  425. as they brutalised the unfortunates.
  426. They beat them with batons, sprayed pepper spray
  427. into their eyes and kicked them with their steel-capped boots.
  428. As I was from military intelligence, the guards
  429. did not even attempt to hide their activities.
  430. They even invited me to join; in every way, they
  431. treated me as one of them.
  432.  
  433. Yes, one of them.
  434. I stood in the grey staff bathroom of Huoshenshan
  435. and looked into a cheap mirror and asked myself —
  436. is this really what you are?
  437. Are you really like them?
  438.  
  439. But the violence was not merely an expression of sadism,
  440. for the poor inmates were not there to be cared for.
  441.  
  442. They were there to work.
  443.  
  444. There was one more set of doors,
  445. and beyond them lay what the Corporal called the "Core".
  446. And it was there that I saw it
  447. — piles and piles of dead bodies, stacked on top of one
  448. another all the way to the ceiling.
  449. There were men, women and children, elderlies and toddlers,
  450. rich and poor, beautiful and misshapen, proud and humble.
  451.  
  452. They were all of them dead.
  453. Our Agent made no distinction between any of them.
  454.  
  455. I gasped when the Corporal led me to the Core.
  456. I cannot count how many there were, but it was many, many thousands.
  457. And in the midst of the piles of corpses was a kind of path,
  458. and I heard a roaring sound in the distance.
  459. The miserable patients from the middle section picked up the
  460. dead and carried and dragged them away into the dark,
  461. even as the guards beat them with truncheons.
  462.  
  463. It took me a little while before I grasped what was happening.
  464. I simply could not believe what lay at the end of that path in the Core.
  465.  
  466. It was an enormous furnace, with great fires roaring within.
  467.  
  468. One by one, their minds destroyed and their bodies twisted,
  469. the dying men and women carried the corpses to the furnace
  470. and cast them inside in a doomed attempt to hide the dreadful truth.
  471. I saw several of them collapse from exhaustion only for their
  472. lifeless bodies to be added to the mountains of corpses on both sides.
  473. In a seemingly endless line they went, their emaciated bodies clad in
  474. grey overalls, their backs bent under the weight of their dreadful cargo.
  475. Many howled and groaned in terror and their voices joined in
  476. a sorrowful cacophony that lingered over the roar of the fires.
  477.  
  478. In deep shock, I stared at the boundless horror before me.
  479. Beside me stood Corporal Meng, his freshly-shaved face as
  480. emotionless as before.
  481. When I turned to face him, he looked at me. His mouth smiled,
  482. but his eyes did not.
  483.  
  484. "We use the energy to operate Huoshenshan," he said.
  485. "We save the state considerable resources in this way.
  486. And look," — he waved at the gallery of the dead —
  487. "there are so many of them here.
  488. You could almost describe it as renewable energy."
  489. He laughed and waved his hand in a strangely camp gesture.
  490.  
  491. I stood speechless and stared at the infernal scenes before me.
  492. Men in black uniforms screamed like daemons at the wretches
  493. who were disposing of the corpses for them.
  494. They stripped the dead of anything that had value
  495. — jewellery, cash, expensive clothing — and tossed these items
  496. onto an enormous pile next to the furnace.
  497. When I asked the Corporal what would be done with the items,
  498. they said that they would be used to pay for the "healthcare expenses"
  499. incurred by the patients’ stay in Huoshenshan.
  500.  
  501. I vomited in the toilet.
  502. When I flushed and came out of the stall,
  503. Corporal Meng stood by the door and looked at me.
  504. His face was as blank as before, but in his eyes
  505. I thought I registered a very faint trace of contempt.
  506. You are ten years my senior, the look said, but you are soft.
  507.  
  508. I thanked him for his service and went home.
  509.  
  510. When I arrived, I saw that I had received hundreds
  511. of updates on the encrypted device the Party uses
  512. to communicate to insiders.
  513. The news were unimaginably grim.
  514. The State Legal and Economic Commission had allocated funds
  515. for the construction of dozens of facilities like Huoshenshan
  516. all throughout China.
  517. The Agent had spread not only to every single province of
  518. the motherland, but to most other nations in the world.
  519. Fortunately, we had agreements in place with other governments
  520. — they agreed to pretend that the infections were due to a coronavirus.
  521. They were just as worried as we were that a panic might
  522. break out in their countries.
  523. The Americans in particular were terrified that the
  524. S&P 500 might decline.
  525. This, they said, would be unacceptable in an election year,
  526. so we could count on their full support.
  527.  
  528. Of course the World Health Organisation also helped us.
  529. For a long time, the only issue with the WHO has been
  530. that we have been locked in a contest with the Americans
  531. about who bribes them more.
  532. They released all sorts of sophisticated misinformation
  533. about having decoded the DNA of the so-called coronavirus.
  534. All this has allowed us to stave off a global panic.
  535.  
  536. For now.
  537.  
  538. Yet the situation was worsening with astonishing speed.
  539. I am reluctant to reveal too much on this point, as it
  540. would make it too easy for my enemies to identify me,
  541. but we quickly began to implement measures to protect
  542. our most senior leaders.
  543. If you look at the world news, you will see that
  544. Xi Jinping, our President, disappeared for approximately
  545. one week after the outbreak, before being seen again with
  546. the leader of Cambodia.
  547.  
  548. You should know that the person who met the Cambodian
  549. leader was not President Xi.
  550. It was a body double who had, for many years, been trained
  551. to look and sound just like our President.
  552. President Xi is of course not careless enough to risk his own death.
  553. He is safely ensconced in a secret bunker underneath Zhongnanhai,
  554. the headquarters of the Party in Beijing.
  555.  
  556. Nor was he the only leader who is in hiding.
  557. In fact, I can assure you that over half of all
  558. senior Party members are currently being imitated
  559. by trained actors who are following instructions
  560. given to them via special implants.
  561. Do you really think that our Prime Minister would
  562. risk his life by going to Wuhan?
  563.  
  564. All of this means that our government has become
  565. utterly paralysed and the functions of the state
  566. have been taken over by the military.
  567.  
  568. It became clear to me that our efforts were pointless.
  569. Yes, the lockdowns, travel bans and targeted
  570. assassinations of rebellious journalists allowed us
  571. to hide the true situation in Wuhan; but I knew that
  572. this would not last.
  573. Once the mass deaths begin in the rest of the world
  574. — in our estimation, this should happen within the next week or so —
  575. everyone will know the truth.
  576. It will become clear that we cannot protect ourselves from the Agent.
  577. Surgical masks, hand sanitiser, gloves — nothing can stop it.
  578. Nothing except the special hazmat masks,
  579. but those cannot be produced in anything like sufficient quantities.
  580. You, an ordinary person, will never even receive one,
  581. let alone a sufficient number to see you through the coming holocaust.
  582.  
  583. For those of you reading this, therefore, all I can suggest
  584. is that you keep your loved ones close to you.
  585. Hug them, tell them what they mean to you.
  586. Enjoy the time you have left with them.
  587. It is not typical in Chinese culture to express one’s feelings
  588. in this way, but I have learnt the importance of such gestures.
  589.  
  590. I promised my wife that I would show this document to her before I posted it.
  591.  
  592. Yet I broke my word.
  593.  
  594. I hear her weep in loud, hoarse sobs in the bedroom,
  595. and the keyboard of my laptop is wet with my own tears.
  596. Not long ago, we received results of the regular tests
  597. that are part of our "priority medical treatment",
  598. and we learnt that my son had been infected with the Agent.
  599.  
  600. The military police that has supplied me with the special
  601. protective mask had been giving expired and ineffective
  602. masks to my son, masks that senior officials had already
  603. worn and then discarded when they ceased to protect them.
  604. My own masks, on the other hand, had always been of the
  605. necessary quality.
  606.  
  607. I suppose they decided that my son was of lower priority than me.
  608. I suppose my son could not help them with their cover-up.
  609.  
  610. We had long ago decided that we would be different
  611. — we would be honest with him, always.
  612. And so when he asked us, we told him the truth.
  613. We told him that he was very sick.
  614. He asked more, and we told him he would not get better.
  615.  
  616. He continued asking, and we told him that he would die.
  617. He is very small, but he was old enough to understand.
  618.  
  619. His terrified wails will haunt me for the rest
  620. of my miserable days in this world.
  621.  
  622. Let them come.
  623. Let them do with me as they will.
  624. I no longer care.