- Saturday, May 204X. The X is there to be inclusive. Either to be accommodating to trans-years or to people who don't understand anything about maths. I woke up during the day as usual to go sit in front of the computer. What else is there to do?
- After breakfast and reading the news, I decide to check my e-mail for some reason. Mostly just spam, but what's this? An e-mail from the postal service. I click it. It seems like it's the noise cancelling headphones I ordered over a month ago. What? They arrived almost a week ago. The last day I can pick them up is tomorrow before they send them back. Why didn't I receive a notification on my phone? It says here they did send a message to my cell phone.
- I check the phone. Nope. No message from the postal service. I turn back to the screen. Well it says the package should be in the automated parcel service device downstairs of my apartment building.
- "The password has been sent to your cell phone number. Slot 25."
- What password? I didn't receive any. Well, I might as well go check it out downstairs. I put on clothes, and pocket my wallet and phone. I step out into the corridor. Neighbours being noisy again. At least this time it's not the one next to me so I don't have to listen to them in my own place.
- I get on the elevator. A young girl is there with her father. She keeps telling him how she wants to be a cat, and possibly get implants. He's sweating nervously and wants to appear supportive of the idea, but clearly tries to direct her attention to other things. Smart I guess, since he doesn't want to get arrested by the police for being trans-species phobic or homo-supremacist.
- The elevator stops on the ground floor. I get out before the father and daughter. Outside of the sliding doors lies the automated parcel service device. Yup, that's slot 25. My headphones should be inside. I try the door. Locked as expected. I look at the keypad, but it's useless as I don't gave the code.
- There's a sign saying if I have problems I should call "this number." Fine, I'll do it. After waiting a moment someone answers. It's the automated system saying the postal customer service is not available during weekends. Great. I can't wait until Monday if tomorrow is the last day I can pick the parcel.
- This is starting to piss me off. I want to kick something, but people going to and fro from the building are already looking at me funny. I got it. The convenience store down the block also functions as a postal center. I'll walk down there to see if they can do something.
- The trip is uneventful except for some retard who almost drives over me. Could have been worse.
- Inside the convenience store is a long queue, and only one worker. I wait until it's my turn. A fat woman, a bit older than me by the look of it, asks how she can help me from behind the counter. I explain her the problem with the headphones. She asks for ID number of the package, and I access my e-mail with the phone to see what it is. After I show her, she begins typing on the computer. She looks puzzled for a while, until she asks is my phone number is this and that. I tell her yes. She says it's the same number as is recorded in the postal service system, as it should be.
- A queue is starting to form behind me with people wanting to buy their candy bars or cigarettes and get out. I can't blame them.
- The cashier asks me if I'm sure I didn't receive the password. I say yes and even show her that there's no message from the postal service on my phone.
- "Can't you just resend the password to my phone?" I ask.
- She says no, since it's not actually the postal service that sends the message, but the company where I ordered the headphones, which in this case is Rubicon Express. Magnificent. So it's their fault for not sending it. I ask the cashier if she can contact them, and she says I have to do it.
- Then something pops into my mind.
- I tell her: "I changed cell phone providers a month ago. It's a bit after I ordered the headphones. I did go to the postal services' website to notify them my number had changed almost immediately. Could this be the reason for the problem?"
- She agrees and says Rubicon Express probably hadn't received my new number. Great, I didn't know I had to tell them too, since ultimately it's the local postal service that would be delivering the package to me.
- The cashier tells me she will extend the period the package can stay in the automated parcel device, but I should contact Rubicon Express. Excellent.
- I leave before the mob behind me gets even angrier. Back in my apartment I send an e-mail to Rubicon Express customer service detailing my predicament.
- There's little I can do about the headphones right now, so I might as well do something to unwind. I boot up the game Brothers in Combat. I play a few matches, mostly getting myself killed, but after a while it comes back to me. My kill-to-death ratio begins to be pretty good. Then I end up in the same team with someone called LovEquality69. He starts giving orders in the chat.
- "Go route B."
- "Only 1 sniper A."
- When the others in the team ignore his suggestion, he calls us netards. It's an insult whose etymology eludes me, however it is one of the few insults that still gets past censors, so I gotta hand it to LovEquality69 for that at least. However not much later he starts team killing us for disobeying him. He leaves the server soon after. I still report him, but as if the mods care about people who behave like assholes. As long as they don't use any of the forbidden words anything goes.
- I quit the game. Fuck, I hate people. I had fun for a while, until that guy ruined it. Still part of the blame goes to the game company for not policing the servers properly.
- I'm going to check the news.
- "World Ecologic Council is considering introducing a breathing tax"
- What? I suppose it's about time, since why not? Ah, that article is from yesterday. Seems like an update to the story.
- "WEC spokesperson says the rumours regarding a breathing tax is misinformation. However since the CO2 emitted by humyn beings greatly contribute to Weather Alteration, measures have to be taken. If the bill passes, starting next year, people outdoors have to wear a CO2 filter to prevent the harmful gas from entering the atmosphere. Those who refuse to wear the filter will be fined."
- So they will force us to wear from new kind of muzzle or tax us for not doing so. The article continues.
- "Trans-species persons will be excluded from the restrictions, as animals are considered a natural part of the environment unlike humyns. Jews will also receive a religious exemption."
- I'll check the comment section. Seems like everyone seems supportive of these measures.
- "As a trans-wombat all I can say it's about time. #TakeBackThePlanet"
- "I literally cried when I saw the news. For a year now I've been trying to breathe less for the sake of Birthing Person Earth. Thank you WEC."
- I don't know how many of them are shills or bots, but does it matter at this point? If you're forced to pretend to support whatever the World Ecologic Council decides, or get prosecuted for a Climate Crime, does it make a difference if deep down you disagree with them?
- It's all so depressing. I'm going to play a game to distract myself. Something single-player, so I don't have to deal with people. Oh yeah, I received that code for the latest Murderer's Dogma game that came out last week. I can try it out.
- Murderer's Dogma 76. Watching through the intro-sequence seems like you play as a proud trans-woman killing foul Irish in the 19th century. Yeah, whatever as long as the gameplay is good.
- I play through the shitty tutorial. Yeah, you can sneak and backstab. You can climb on walls. Yes, I know. It's the same thing as every other third person game released in the last ten years. Why do I have to play the tutorial in each game?
- Finally the actual game starts. A cutscene, of course. So this trans-bear tells me how the evil Paddy scientist has some formula I have to steal, and kill the guy of course. Can I play now? The movement seems fine. Walking around town. Don't mind me civilians, I'm not a murderer from the future. A soldier walks into a dark alley. I'll follow him and backstab. What? When I pressed the attack button, I didn't get the execution animation. Instead my character did a normal slash, lunged forward in front of the soldier, and now he sees me holding a weapon and attacks. Why? Ah, maybe it's because the enemy model was standing next to a bench so there was no room for the animation to happen. Great.
- And now the soldier attacks me. Run away.
- I'll climb onto this church to look around. I walk over to that ledge over there. The view should be nice. And suddenly I fall through the world. What the fuck? They implemented this climb-everywhere-mechanic, but the developers didn't expect the player to climb onto that church? Fuck this. I quit.
- This pisses me off. I'll go to the game forums to whine about it.
- "This game is a buggy mess. I try to backstab a soldier. The character glitches through the enemy model and then the soldier begins to pound on me. I try to climb onto a church and fall through the world.
- I have a suggestion. Do some playtesting before releasing your game."
- That made me feel a bit better. I think I'll have a shower.
- When I'm finished I check if I've received any comments on my post. Deleted for abusive behaviour. I should have figured, although I held back on the naughty words. I hate people.
- Why does everything I do get ruined somehow? Suddenly my phone beeps. Could it be about the headphones?
- I check the message. No, it's not about the headphones. It's a warning from the Consumer Behaviour Board.
- "You have been found guilty of asocial behaviour in regard to a Cubesoft product. Nature of infraction: transphobia.
- This is your first warning. If you receive a third warning, the Consumer Behaviour Board will prosecute you for your infractions."
- What the fuck, transphobia? I didn't even say anything like that. I was merely pointing out the bugginess of the game. I sigh, and realize it's dumb of me to think something like that even matters anymore.