1. WEBVTT
2. Kind: captions
3. Language: en
4.  
5. 00:00:00.060 --> 00:00:03.949 align:start position:0%
6.  
7. the<00:00:00.450><c> best</c><00:00:00.920><c> respectful</c><00:00:01.920><c> religious</c><00:00:02.850><c> joke</c><00:00:03.480><c> that</c>
8.  
9. 00:00:03.949 --> 00:00:03.959 align:start position:0%
10. the best respectful religious joke that
11.  
12.  
13. 00:00:03.959 --> 00:00:06.079 align:start position:0%
14. the best respectful religious joke that
15. I<00:00:04.110><c> heard</c><00:00:04.470><c> maybe</c><00:00:05.190><c> you</c><00:00:05.339><c> know</c><00:00:05.460><c> it</c><00:00:05.580><c> from</c><00:00:05.759><c> some</c><00:00:05.970><c> of</c>
16.  
17. 00:00:06.079 --> 00:00:06.089 align:start position:0%
18. I heard maybe you know it from some of
19.  
20.  
21. 00:00:06.089 --> 00:00:08.660 align:start position:0%
22. I heard maybe you know it from some of
23. my<00:00:06.210><c> earlier</c><00:00:06.569><c> books</c><00:00:06.779><c> was</c><00:00:07.470><c> among</c><00:00:08.099><c> the</c>
24.  
25. 00:00:08.660 --> 00:00:08.670 align:start position:0%
26. my earlier books was among the
27.  
28.  
29. 00:00:08.670 --> 00:00:11.959 align:start position:0%
30. my earlier books was among the
31. Christians<00:00:09.420><c> of</c><00:00:09.599><c> Palestine</c><00:00:10.410><c> very</c><00:00:11.370><c> tender</c>
32.  
33. 00:00:11.959 --> 00:00:11.969 align:start position:0%
34. Christians of Palestine very tender
35.  
36.  
37. 00:00:11.969 --> 00:00:14.509 align:start position:0%
38. Christians of Palestine very tender
39. drops<00:00:12.389><c> that</c><00:00:12.809><c> I</c><00:00:12.840><c> like</c><00:00:13.170><c> about</c><00:00:13.469><c> Jesus</c><00:00:14.190><c> Christ</c>
40.  
41. 00:00:14.509 --> 00:00:14.519 align:start position:0%
42. drops that I like about Jesus Christ
43.  
44.  
45. 00:00:14.519 --> 00:00:17.300 align:start position:0%
46. drops that I like about Jesus Christ
47. like<00:00:14.820><c> just</c><00:00:15.420><c> one</c><00:00:15.660><c> not</c><00:00:15.990><c> obscene</c><00:00:16.379><c> one</c><00:00:16.650><c> I</c><00:00:16.830><c> love</c><00:00:17.160><c> it</c>
48.  
49. 00:00:17.300 --> 00:00:17.310 align:start position:0%
50. like just one not obscene one I love it
51.  
52.  
53. 00:00:17.310 --> 00:00:19.370 align:start position:0%
54. like just one not obscene one I love it
55. I<00:00:17.550><c> heard</c><00:00:18.330><c> this</c><00:00:18.510><c> from</c><00:00:18.750><c> a</c><00:00:18.900><c> Christian</c>
56.  
57. 00:00:19.370 --> 00:00:19.380 align:start position:0%
58. I heard this from a Christian
59.  
60.  
61. 00:00:19.380 --> 00:00:22.820 align:start position:0%
62. I heard this from a Christian
63. Palestinian<00:00:19.529><c> I</c><00:00:20.310><c> like</c><00:00:21.060><c> this</c><00:00:21.330><c> total</c><00:00:21.900><c> historical</c>
64.  
65. 00:00:22.820 --> 00:00:22.830 align:start position:0%
66. Palestinian I like this total historical
67.  
68.  
69. 00:00:22.830 --> 00:00:25.880 align:start position:0%
70. Palestinian I like this total historical
71. inaccuracy<00:00:23.689><c> Jesus</c><00:00:24.689><c> Christ</c><00:00:24.990><c> gets</c><00:00:25.260><c> tired</c><00:00:25.560><c> of</c>
72.  
73. 00:00:25.880 --> 00:00:25.890 align:start position:0%
74. inaccuracy Jesus Christ gets tired of
75.  
76.  
77. 00:00:25.890 --> 00:00:28.189 align:start position:0%
78. inaccuracy Jesus Christ gets tired of
79. its<00:00:26.099><c> preaching</c><00:00:26.699><c> he's</c><00:00:27.150><c> preaching</c><00:00:27.480><c> and</c><00:00:27.869><c> he</c>
80.  
81. 00:00:28.189 --> 00:00:28.199 align:start position:0%
82. its preaching he's preaching and he
83.  
84.  
85. 00:00:28.199 --> 00:00:32.299 align:start position:0%
86. its preaching he's preaching and he
87. takes<00:00:28.710><c> one</c><00:00:29.070><c> of</c><00:00:29.099><c> the</c><00:00:29.340><c> apostle's</c><00:00:30.529><c> let's</c><00:00:31.529><c> take</c><00:00:31.949><c> go</c>
88.  
89. 00:00:32.299 --> 00:00:32.309 align:start position:0%
90. takes one of the apostle's let's take go
91.  
92.  
93. 00:00:32.309 --> 00:00:34.220 align:start position:0%
94. takes one of the apostle's let's take go
95. to<00:00:32.369><c> Galilee</c><00:00:32.940><c> she</c><00:00:33.210><c> and</c><00:00:33.450><c> close</c><00:00:33.719><c> to</c><00:00:33.930><c> it</c><00:00:34.020><c> let's</c>
96.  
97. 00:00:34.220 --> 00:00:34.230 align:start position:0%
98. to Galilee she and close to it let's
99.  
100.  
101. 00:00:34.230 --> 00:00:35.330 align:start position:0%
102. to Galilee she and close to it let's
103. play<00:00:34.500><c> golf</c><00:00:34.770><c> okay</c>
104.  
105. 00:00:35.330 --> 00:00:35.340 align:start position:0%
106. play golf okay
107.  
108.  
109. 00:00:35.340 --> 00:00:37.819 align:start position:0%
110. play golf okay
111. Christ<00:00:35.670><c> is</c><00:00:35.940><c> playing</c><00:00:36.210><c> golf</c><00:00:36.450><c> there</c><00:00:36.809><c> he</c><00:00:37.380><c> makes</c><00:00:37.590><c> a</c>
112.  
113. 00:00:37.819 --> 00:00:37.829 align:start position:0%
114. Christ is playing golf there he makes a
115.  
116.  
117. 00:00:37.829 --> 00:00:39.319 align:start position:0%
118. Christ is playing golf there he makes a
119. hit<00:00:38.129><c> misses</c><00:00:38.879><c> it</c>
120.  
121. 00:00:39.319 --> 00:00:39.329 align:start position:0%
122. hit misses it
123.  
124.  
125. 00:00:39.329 --> 00:00:44.930 align:start position:0%
126. hit misses it
127. the<00:00:39.480><c> ball</c><00:00:39.739><c> falls</c><00:00:40.739><c> into</c><00:00:42.290><c> the</c><00:00:43.290><c> sea</c><00:00:43.500><c> lake</c><00:00:44.430><c> water</c>
128.  
129. 00:00:44.930 --> 00:00:44.940 align:start position:0%
130. the ball falls into the sea lake water
131.  
132.  
133. 00:00:44.940 --> 00:00:47.060 align:start position:0%
134. the ball falls into the sea lake water
135. okay<00:00:45.420><c> Christ</c><00:00:45.719><c> being</c><00:00:46.050><c> Christ</c><00:00:46.469><c> he</c><00:00:46.739><c> of</c><00:00:46.860><c> course</c>
136.  
137. 00:00:47.060 --> 00:00:47.070 align:start position:0%
138. okay Christ being Christ he of course
139.  
140.  
141. 00:00:47.070 --> 00:00:49.850 align:start position:0%
142. okay Christ being Christ he of course
143. walks<00:00:47.670><c> there</c><00:00:48.030><c> on</c><00:00:48.239><c> the</c><00:00:48.450><c> water</c><00:00:48.680><c> reaches</c><00:00:49.680><c> pay</c>
144.  
145. 00:00:49.850 --> 00:00:49.860 align:start position:0%
146. walks there on the water reaches pay
147.  
148.  
149. 00:00:49.860 --> 00:00:52.700 align:start position:0%
150. walks there on the water reaches pay
151. comes<00:00:50.309><c> back</c><00:00:50.640><c> and</c><00:00:50.910><c> then</c><00:00:51.390><c> the</c><00:00:51.570><c> poster</c><00:00:52.020><c> says</c><00:00:52.320><c> but</c>
152.  
153. 00:00:52.700 --> 00:00:52.710 align:start position:0%
154. comes back and then the poster says but
155.  
156.  
157. 00:00:52.710 --> 00:00:55.130 align:start position:0%
158. comes back and then the poster says but
159. listen<00:00:53.190><c> Jesus</c><00:00:53.430><c> this</c><00:00:54.210><c> is</c><00:00:54.360><c> a</c><00:00:54.390><c> very</c><00:00:54.660><c> difficult</c>
160.  
161. 00:00:55.130 --> 00:00:55.140 align:start position:0%
162. listen Jesus this is a very difficult
163.  
164.  
165. 00:00:55.140 --> 00:00:58.790 align:start position:0%
166. listen Jesus this is a very difficult
167. heat<00:00:55.980><c> you</c><00:00:56.579><c> will</c><00:00:56.699><c> probably</c><00:00:57.360><c> fail</c><00:00:57.719><c> even</c><00:00:58.140><c> with</c>
168.  
169. 00:00:58.790 --> 00:00:58.800 align:start position:0%
170. heat you will probably fail even with
171.  
172.  
173. 00:00:58.800 --> 00:01:00.920 align:start position:0%
174. heat you will probably fail even with
175. your<00:00:59.010><c> big</c><00:00:59.219><c> player</c><00:00:59.489><c> the</c><00:00:59.820><c> black</c><00:01:00.030><c> guy</c><00:01:00.239><c> regards</c>
176.  
177. 00:01:00.920 --> 00:01:00.930 align:start position:0%
178. your big player the black guy regards
179.  
180.  
181. 00:01:00.930 --> 00:01:04.490 align:start position:0%
182. your big player the black guy regards
183. even<00:01:01.530><c> Tiger</c><00:01:02.100><c> Woods</c><00:01:02.780><c> wouldn't</c><00:01:03.780><c> maybe</c><00:01:03.989><c> be</c><00:01:04.199><c> able</c>
184.  
185. 00:01:04.490 --> 00:01:04.500 align:start position:0%
186. even Tiger Woods wouldn't maybe be able
187.  
188.  
189. 00:01:04.500 --> 00:01:07.760 align:start position:0%
190. even Tiger Woods wouldn't maybe be able
191. to<00:01:04.769><c> do</c><00:01:05.070><c> it</c><00:01:05.280><c> and</c><00:01:05.519><c> Jesus</c><00:01:06.240><c> said</c><00:01:07.140><c> Tiger</c><00:01:07.560><c> I</c><00:01:07.590><c> am</c>
192.  
193. 00:01:07.760 --> 00:01:07.770 align:start position:0%
194. to do it and Jesus said Tiger I am
195.  
196.  
197. 00:01:07.770 --> 00:01:11.570 align:start position:0%
198. to do it and Jesus said Tiger I am
199. God<00:01:08.070><c> I</c><00:01:08.310><c> can</c><00:01:08.520><c> do</c><00:01:08.700><c> it</c><00:01:08.850><c> so</c><00:01:09.479><c> he</c><00:01:10.020><c> hits</c><00:01:10.650><c> it</c><00:01:10.860><c> again</c><00:01:11.010><c> it</c>
200.  
201. 00:01:11.570 --> 00:01:11.580 align:start position:0%
202. God I can do it so he hits it again it
203.  
204.  
205. 00:01:11.580 --> 00:01:15.440 align:start position:0%
206. God I can do it so he hits it again it
207. goes<00:01:11.850><c> again</c><00:01:12.600><c> into</c><00:01:13.320><c> the</c><00:01:13.470><c> water</c><00:01:13.650><c> so</c><00:01:14.640><c> he</c><00:01:14.939><c> walks</c><00:01:15.150><c> on</c>
208.  
209. 00:01:15.440 --> 00:01:15.450 align:start position:0%
210. goes again into the water so he walks on
211.  
212.  
213. 00:01:15.450 --> 00:01:17.719 align:start position:0%
214. goes again into the water so he walks on
215. the<00:01:15.509><c> water</c><00:01:15.750><c> again</c><00:01:16.229><c> and</c><00:01:16.470><c> that</c><00:01:17.009><c> I</c><00:01:17.189><c> like</c><00:01:17.460><c> this</c>
216.  
217. 00:01:17.719 --> 00:01:17.729 align:start position:0%
218. the water again and that I like this
219.  
220.  
221. 00:01:17.729 --> 00:01:21.289 align:start position:0%
222. the water again and that I like this
223. total<00:01:18.799><c> historical</c><00:01:19.799><c> confusion</c><00:01:20.430><c> at</c><00:01:20.670><c> that</c><00:01:21.000><c> point</c>
224.  
225. 00:01:21.289 --> 00:01:21.299 align:start position:0%
226. total historical confusion at that point
227.  
228.  
229. 00:01:21.299 --> 00:01:23.630 align:start position:0%
230. total historical confusion at that point
231. a<00:01:21.509><c> group</c><00:01:21.810><c> of</c><00:01:21.960><c> American</c><00:01:22.530><c> tourists</c><00:01:23.100><c> come</c><00:01:23.369><c> there</c>
232.  
233. 00:01:23.630 --> 00:01:23.640 align:start position:0%
234. a group of American tourists come there
235.  
236.  
237. 00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:26.570 align:start position:0%
238. a group of American tourists come there
239. with<00:01:24.390><c> the</c><00:01:24.570><c> bus</c><00:01:24.750><c> and</c><00:01:25.140><c> are</c><00:01:25.680><c> surprised</c><00:01:26.130><c> like</c><00:01:26.369><c> what</c>
240.  
241. 00:01:26.570 --> 00:01:26.580 align:start position:0%
242. with the bus and are surprised like what
243.  
244.  
245. 00:01:26.580 --> 00:01:28.760 align:start position:0%
246. with the bus and are surprised like what
247. is<00:01:26.729><c> that</c><00:01:26.880><c> guy</c><00:01:27.090><c> doing</c><00:01:27.119><c> working</c><00:01:27.960><c> convertor</c>
248.  
249. 00:01:28.760 --> 00:01:28.770 align:start position:0%
250. is that guy doing working convertor
251.  
252.  
253. 00:01:28.770 --> 00:01:31.069 align:start position:0%
254. is that guy doing working convertor
255. no<00:01:29.009><c> and</c><00:01:29.310><c> they</c><00:01:29.759><c> approached</c><00:01:30.150><c> the</c><00:01:30.390><c> Apostle</c><00:01:30.990><c> and</c>
256.  
257. 00:01:31.069 --> 00:01:31.079 align:start position:0%
258. no and they approached the Apostle and
259.  
260.  
261. 00:01:31.079 --> 00:01:34.399 align:start position:0%
262. no and they approached the Apostle and
263. says<00:01:31.409><c> but</c><00:01:31.950><c> who's</c><00:01:32.189><c> that</c><00:01:32.490><c> jerk</c><00:01:32.850><c> guy</c><00:01:33.270><c> what</c><00:01:34.229><c> does</c>
264.  
265. 00:01:34.399 --> 00:01:34.409 align:start position:0%
266. says but who's that jerk guy what does
267.  
268.  
269. 00:01:34.409 --> 00:01:37.249 align:start position:0%
270. says but who's that jerk guy what does
271. he<00:01:34.590><c> think</c><00:01:34.619><c> that</c><00:01:35.100><c> he</c><00:01:35.340><c> is</c><00:01:35.549><c> Jesus</c><00:01:36.240><c> Christ</c><00:01:36.420><c> you</c>
272.  
273. 00:01:37.249 --> 00:01:37.259 align:start position:0%
274. he think that he is Jesus Christ you
275.  
276.  
277. 00:01:37.259 --> 00:01:39.830 align:start position:0%
278. he think that he is Jesus Christ you
279. know<00:01:37.439><c> what</c><00:01:37.619><c> a</c><00:01:37.860><c> postal</c><00:01:38.490><c> answer's</c><00:01:38.970><c> no</c><00:01:39.180><c> it's</c><00:01:39.630><c> much</c>
280.  
281. 00:01:39.830 --> 00:01:39.840 align:start position:0%
282. know what a postal answer's no it's much
283.  
284.  
285. 00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:43.790 align:start position:0%
286. know what a postal answer's no it's much
287. worse<00:01:39.900><c> he</c><00:01:40.590><c> thinks</c><00:01:40.950><c> his</c><00:01:41.100><c> Tiger</c><00:01:41.549><c> Woods</c>
288.  
289.